I just read the medium article and LOL this was me all throughout school and uni. One of my first memories of public speaking was when I was in kindergarten, and my mum wrote a note in as to why i couldn't do it (bcoz I didn't want to). School was then torture as for some reason my school had an obscene amount of speeches that was mandatory?! and what's worse - I wasn't *that* bad at it so I was chosen for a few school competitions. In uni, I didn't show up for a speech assignment because my anxiety literally just wouldn't bring myself to do it... So anyways — I wonder, being a 5th line and all, whether it's the expectations which make me feel like im going to crumble and fail. Because if there's no expectations and I could write/speak into the void forever, it would feel a lot more cosy hah. Anyways. Thnx for reading this mini essay comment.
makes sense. I still don’t know where exactly the fear came from tbh. I was just very quick to blush and be ashamed of absolutely everything I did or said that may have been perceived as “wrong“ in any way so I defaulted to saying/doing nothing. maybe a combo of 8 5th lines + open SP sensitivity + undef ego shame + undef ajna embarassment? idk idk. but there is definitely a correlation between written expression and irl presence. both enforce the other I believe, to a point at least. I’m way more expressive irl when I’m consistent in my writing. and I’m less ashamed of my non-physical expression when I take up more non-virtual space with my voice
… me realizing almost 5 years into HD that my definition — mutative organization — is essentially cooking — organizing ingredients for their subsequent transformation — what basically led me to HD in the first place LOL what a time to be alive
I just read the medium article and LOL this was me all throughout school and uni. One of my first memories of public speaking was when I was in kindergarten, and my mum wrote a note in as to why i couldn't do it (bcoz I didn't want to). School was then torture as for some reason my school had an obscene amount of speeches that was mandatory?! and what's worse - I wasn't *that* bad at it so I was chosen for a few school competitions. In uni, I didn't show up for a speech assignment because my anxiety literally just wouldn't bring myself to do it... So anyways — I wonder, being a 5th line and all, whether it's the expectations which make me feel like im going to crumble and fail. Because if there's no expectations and I could write/speak into the void forever, it would feel a lot more cosy hah. Anyways. Thnx for reading this mini essay comment.
makes sense. I still don’t know where exactly the fear came from tbh. I was just very quick to blush and be ashamed of absolutely everything I did or said that may have been perceived as “wrong“ in any way so I defaulted to saying/doing nothing. maybe a combo of 8 5th lines + open SP sensitivity + undef ego shame + undef ajna embarassment? idk idk. but there is definitely a correlation between written expression and irl presence. both enforce the other I believe, to a point at least. I’m way more expressive irl when I’m consistent in my writing. and I’m less ashamed of my non-physical expression when I take up more non-virtual space with my voice
Also really cool graphics / first image 😍
oh why thanks :)
Curious if you sense your 31-7 coming out on the job :) like maybe also it feels good to put that leadership to use
… me realizing almost 5 years into HD that my definition — mutative organization — is essentially cooking — organizing ingredients for their subsequent transformation — what basically led me to HD in the first place LOL what a time to be alive
so yes, yes I do. even when nobody else is around, cooking/baking is just “leading“ ingredients in the end